[Cool cool cool. Who needs sleep? Not Varian, apparently, and not him. He's nodding off again when there's a poke to his cheek, and more talking, and Fern groggily realizes this means he likely isn't about to get back to sleep right away. He grumbles, reaching up to wave Varian's hand away. Okay, bud, you win. He's awake. He's awake and he hates it, cracking an eye open.]
[Varian definitely needs sleep, but his body has decided this month, he is not getting it. He sits back a little, to give Fern a little of his personal space back, grinning as he gets signs of life from the other boy. He waves his arms animatedly as he talks like this is a nice afternoon get together and not the dead of night. ]
So hey! Do you remember telling me about that time you crashed Finn's birthday party to try and kill him? But you did it by telling him he could attack you with your axe first?
[Fern slowly draaags himself up until he's sitting, rubbing his eyes as he tries to drive the desire to sleep away. Okay, he can do this, it's important that he doesn't just... leave Varian like this. Plus, whatever he has to say might be important.]
Uh, yeah. A game - it was a game with my battle axe. "All You Have to Do is Strike Me With it and it is Yours." What about it?
[It's tragically not important, but Varian continues to move animatedly- it's probably a good thing he took his leg off already or he'd be pacing.]
Yeah! Yes that! The strike me with the axe and you get to keep it thing! Did you know that's actually a story in my world. [He points at Fern, just...directly at him, like he's the piece of some great cosmic puzzle. ] It's called Sir Gawain and The Green Knight. I never even put the pieces together but I was lying there thinking about it and I realised, hey, I've heard this story before!. Wild, right?
[Fern would be far more enthusiastic about this news if it wasn't three in the morning. As Varian speaks he's wobbling slightly, struggling to not just flop back over and go back to sleep. After a few moments he manages a compromise: gradually leaning further and further over until bonk! He's resting his head against Varian's shoulder.
That will probably make all the gesticulating harder to accomplish but he doesn't really care right now.]
But Finn's name is Finn, not Gawain. 'S totally different.
[That's fine, the resting is totally fine- and it does stop all the wild arm flailing. One moves to gently pat his back, there there, boyfriend. ]
Yeah, obviously that part is different, but!! But, but, but Gawain cuts off the Green Knight's Head and he's like...well, some stories suggest he's a plant person too? Anyway, the Green Knight is like "ok you chopped off my head and now I'm gonna strike the same blow on you in a year." And there's these tests of his knighthood and...stuff.
[This would be far more coherent if Varian wasn't running on about two hours sleep in as many days but there you go. ]
[The patting is nice. He likes that. And he supposes he can see the resemblance - Finn had cut off his head, and he nearly cut off Finn's - so that's a bit weird.
Fern, half-asleep and not really thinking about being grass instead of human, makes a noise like a yawn.]
Chivalric virtues. There's five of 'em. [Not that he could name all five right now.] What do you mean, some stories say he's a plant person?
[Varian your father was a knight and you're literally dating one, can you please at least try to learn what those virtues are. The back-patting continues, it gives Varian something to do with one of his hands at least- to try and temper the nervous energy jittering through him.]
Well, people aren't sure if he's just wearing green or if he is actually a plant person? Like it's not clear and he does survive having his head chopped off. So there'a good chance he's not human.
[The patting is such a nice, repetitive motion that Fern starts getting a tiny bit worried it's going to lull him back to sleep. Now that he's awake he should really try and stay awake until Varian goes back to bed....]
Huh. [That's definitely something to think about.] I survived getting my head chopped off, so I bet he is.
[Makes sense to him!]
Before I tried to chop Finn's head off we went through... not really any of the virtues, but as a prank we did some of his birthday games. He thought playing those would make us square after he cut my head off.
[Good luck getting Varian to actually sleep properly, Fern. Chances are the grassy boy will fall asleep before the human one. ]
That's what I was thinking. The stories match up quite a lot - which is weird because you guys wouldn't have had access to that text. It's really old in my time, by the time you hit your time, I'd imagine it would have been pretty much forgotten.
[The back-pats turn into back-rubs which probably doesn't help with Fern's sleepiness.]
Because somehow playing birthday games equals cutting someone's head off? Like, did he realise it wouldn't have killed you? Because that would make it worse.
[The backrub does not help at all, and Fern makes another noise like a yawn.]
Maybe they were copying me. [That isn't how time works, Fern.] He thought I was Jake pranking him so no, he didn't think he was gonna kill me. Jake showed up right after he did it, though. [He grins sleepily.] The look on his face was priiiiceless.
[Varian doesn't seem to mind. Now he's got the vastly important!!! information out of his system, he's belatedly realised he's actually woken up his poor boyfriend from some much-needed sleep like a complete ass. So he'll keep with the soothing backrub to try and make up for it.]
That's not how time works, Fern.
[He had to say it, he had to. Still, that makes sense, from his understanding of Jake, he would have survived having his head chopped off. He smiles a little, leaning in to press a kiss at the top of Fern's head.]
Oh, I bet it was. How long did you keep him hanging there, thinking he'd committed murder?
[While it doesn't completely make up for yanking him out of sleep in the middle of the night, the backrub is still really nice.]
Shhhh, time is an illusion.
[And he is too tired to think any harder about it.
He grins a little at the kiss.]
Not very long. Jake showed up right after he cut my head off. I figured if I was gonna do the same to him I needed to move fast, so I stuck it back on right after. Peebs sent her Banana Guards after me so I had to take care of 'em, too.
[He'll find much better ways to make up for it later. He chuckles softly.]
If you say so~
[He isn't impressed with that reaction, though. He shouldn't be surprised, but it's still irritating.]
Of course. Gotta save precious little Finn, even if he literally just chopped someone's head off. Hey, Finn, here's a lesson for you- if you don't want to face the consequences of chopping someone's head off, maybe don't chop someone's head off.
[Aw, there are a lot of things he did back home that he regrets, but he isn't quite at that place where anything involving Finn is on the list. So seeing Varian's reaction makes him grin wider, happy that he has someone on his side when it comes to Finn.]
Don't worry, I got him back by playing a bunch of carnival games with him and making him lose like crazy. It really messed him up, he wasn't even gonna fight back when I was about to chop his head off.
[Varian will always take Fern's side when it comes to Finn. He's never met the guy and all he knows from him is how he continually screwed over Fern. It's not a good look.]
Wow, is he really that sore a loser that he can't even conceive that he might not win at everything ever? You definitely ended up a lot better than him.
[Thank you forever for your extremely biased opinion, boyfriendo. Fern snorts a little.]
... Well, I had to cheat to beat him at one game. [Because Finn is just Better Than Him and that's the sad reality.] But I beat him fair and square at arm wrestling. He's really weak compared to me.
Again, he literally chopped your head off. I think that's allowable. [He pats Fern's back.] See? You've got plenty going on that's more impressive than him.
[He smiles fleetingly at the kiss. Honestly, he doesn't feel any better- the sense of impending doom hasn't gone away. His chest still feels tight and anxious, he wants nothing more than to curl up and go to sleep like this, with Fern resting against him. But he knows it's not going to happen.
He also knows better than to lie about it to his boyfriend. ]
Not really. Everything is still just...there. The whole... weird feeling. [He wishes he could explain it better, maybe if he could understand it more, he'd be able to tackle it better. ] I've been talking to some other Sleepers about it. I... it looks like it might be because of the blood I've got. Other coldbloods [god, that still feels weird to say] have been dealing with the same symptoms. Sooooo at least it's not just me? Yay.
[Wu had given him some good advice, but he's...working up to that. It's a lot. ]
[As much of a mood killer as it is, Fern is glad Varian is being honest here. It would be so easy to lie and let things get worse - this is the harder route, but it's the better one in the long run.
And hey, it sounds like progress has been made. Fern raises his eyebrow at the mention of blood - that's news to him - and even looks a little eager.]
That's great! I mean - it's still not great-great, but if it's your blood then maybe you can do something to your blood to fix it! We could talk to Eddie, or - or see if any other coldbloods figured out some way to calm down, and give it a try!
[This information means they might have more options available to them than they thought.]
[They are going in the right direction, at least. It's not great-great, but there's a way out of all the darkness and Varian's going to grip that as tightly as possible. ]
Yeah, if there's at least a common cause, then that means there should be a common remedy too. You'd...uh, hope, anyway.
[He hesitates a moment more, before clearing his throat, a blush tinging his cheeks a little.]
Uh. Wu suggested something like a massage might help? He said that always helped him relax.
[Fern nods excitedly. That's it, common cause, common remedy! They don't have a lot of hope here, and Fern feels like they've been stumbling around in the dark, so any potential light is a good one.
Massage, however, is not a solution he's expecting to hear. He sits up fully, his mind jumping straight to whether that would be a good way to relax. It totally seems like it would be, so he's on board.]
Hey, yeah! That's a great idea!
[Aaaand his common sense catches up with his brain. This is Varian they're talking about - Varian who isn't super great with the intimacy thing. Varian and his issues with having his shirt off. His cheeks darken several shades.]
Um, that is - if you're cool with it. We - we could totally try it sometime, if you want.
[Fern being immediately receptive to the idea does ease some of Varian's concerns. After their last conversation about this subject, he was worried Fern would shut him down completely. He's still nervous- but this had taken the edge of the dread part of the nervousness.
He chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. ]
Y-yeah. I'm cool with it. Still...kinda nervous about it, but I don't want it to be A Thing forever, y'know? [One of his hands moves to grip Fern's. Firm, confident in this at least:] I trust you with that. I... know I'm safe with you.
[It could be a good step forward for Varian, no doubts there. It... could also be hugely disastrous, and given it's both of them that seems likely. But trying is also worthwhile. Varian isn't going to get any better if they don't try.
He smiles gently, gripping Varian's hand in return, his free hand settling on his boyfriend's cheek.]
Your trust is the most important thing to me. I love you, and I'm gonna do my best to not screw it all up.
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Nngg. What?
[He's up. What is this about?]
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So hey! Do you remember telling me about that time you crashed Finn's birthday party to try and kill him? But you did it by telling him he could attack you with your axe first?
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Uh, yeah. A game - it was a game with my battle axe. "All You Have to Do is Strike Me With it and it is Yours." What about it?
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Yeah! Yes that! The strike me with the axe and you get to keep it thing! Did you know that's actually a story in my world. [He points at Fern, just...directly at him, like he's the piece of some great cosmic puzzle. ] It's called Sir Gawain and The Green Knight. I never even put the pieces together but I was lying there thinking about it and I realised, hey, I've heard this story before!. Wild, right?
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That will probably make all the gesticulating harder to accomplish but he doesn't really care right now.]
But Finn's name is Finn, not Gawain. 'S totally different.
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Yeah, obviously that part is different, but!! But, but, but Gawain cuts off the Green Knight's Head and he's like...well, some stories suggest he's a plant person too? Anyway, the Green Knight is like "ok you chopped off my head and now I'm gonna strike the same blow on you in a year." And there's these tests of his knighthood and...stuff.
[This would be far more coherent if Varian wasn't running on about two hours sleep in as many days but there you go. ]
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Fern, half-asleep and not really thinking about being grass instead of human, makes a noise like a yawn.]
Chivalric virtues. There's five of 'em. [Not that he could name all five right now.] What do you mean, some stories say he's a plant person?
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[Varian your father was a knight and you're literally dating one, can you please at least try to learn what those virtues are. The back-patting continues, it gives Varian something to do with one of his hands at least- to try and temper the nervous energy jittering through him.]
Well, people aren't sure if he's just wearing green or if he is actually a plant person? Like it's not clear and he does survive having his head chopped off. So there'a good chance he's not human.
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Huh. [That's definitely something to think about.] I survived getting my head chopped off, so I bet he is.
[Makes sense to him!]
Before I tried to chop Finn's head off we went through... not really any of the virtues, but as a prank we did some of his birthday games. He thought playing those would make us square after he cut my head off.
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That's what I was thinking. The stories match up quite a lot - which is weird because you guys wouldn't have had access to that text. It's really old in my time, by the time you hit your time, I'd imagine it would have been pretty much forgotten.
[The back-pats turn into back-rubs which probably doesn't help with Fern's sleepiness.]
Because somehow playing birthday games equals cutting someone's head off? Like, did he realise it wouldn't have killed you? Because that would make it worse.
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Maybe they were copying me. [That isn't how time works, Fern.] He thought I was Jake pranking him so no, he didn't think he was gonna kill me. Jake showed up right after he did it, though. [He grins sleepily.] The look on his face was priiiiceless.
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That's not how time works, Fern.
[He had to say it, he had to. Still, that makes sense, from his understanding of Jake, he would have survived having his head chopped off. He smiles a little, leaning in to press a kiss at the top of Fern's head.]
Oh, I bet it was. How long did you keep him hanging there, thinking he'd committed murder?
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Shhhh, time is an illusion.
[And he is too tired to think any harder about it.
He grins a little at the kiss.]
Not very long. Jake showed up right after he cut my head off. I figured if I was gonna do the same to him I needed to move fast, so I stuck it back on right after. Peebs sent her Banana Guards after me so I had to take care of 'em, too.
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If you say so~
[He isn't impressed with that reaction, though. He shouldn't be surprised, but it's still irritating.]
Of course. Gotta save precious little Finn, even if he literally just chopped someone's head off. Hey, Finn, here's a lesson for you- if you don't want to face the consequences of chopping someone's head off, maybe don't chop someone's head off.
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Don't worry, I got him back by playing a bunch of carnival games with him and making him lose like crazy. It really messed him up, he wasn't even gonna fight back when I was about to chop his head off.
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Wow, is he really that sore a loser that he can't even conceive that he might not win at everything ever? You definitely ended up a lot better than him.
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... Well, I had to cheat to beat him at one game. [Because Finn is just Better Than Him and that's the sad reality.] But I beat him fair and square at arm wrestling. He's really weak compared to me.
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Again, he literally chopped your head off. I think that's allowable. [He pats Fern's back.] See? You've got plenty going on that's more impressive than him.
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[He smiles fleetingly at the kiss. Honestly, he doesn't feel any better- the sense of impending doom hasn't gone away. His chest still feels tight and anxious, he wants nothing more than to curl up and go to sleep like this, with Fern resting against him. But he knows it's not going to happen.
He also knows better than to lie about it to his boyfriend. ]
Not really. Everything is still just...there. The whole... weird feeling. [He wishes he could explain it better, maybe if he could understand it more, he'd be able to tackle it better. ] I've been talking to some other Sleepers about it. I... it looks like it might be because of the blood I've got. Other coldbloods [god, that still feels weird to say] have been dealing with the same symptoms. Sooooo at least it's not just me? Yay.
[Wu had given him some good advice, but he's...working up to that. It's a lot. ]
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And hey, it sounds like progress has been made. Fern raises his eyebrow at the mention of blood - that's news to him - and even looks a little eager.]
That's great! I mean - it's still not great-great, but if it's your blood then maybe you can do something to your blood to fix it! We could talk to Eddie, or - or see if any other coldbloods figured out some way to calm down, and give it a try!
[This information means they might have more options available to them than they thought.]
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Yeah, if there's at least a common cause, then that means there should be a common remedy too. You'd...uh, hope, anyway.
[He hesitates a moment more, before clearing his throat, a blush tinging his cheeks a little.]
Uh. Wu suggested something like a massage might help? He said that always helped him relax.
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Massage, however, is not a solution he's expecting to hear. He sits up fully, his mind jumping straight to whether that would be a good way to relax. It totally seems like it would be, so he's on board.]
Hey, yeah! That's a great idea!
[Aaaand his common sense catches up with his brain. This is Varian they're talking about - Varian who isn't super great with the intimacy thing. Varian and his issues with having his shirt off. His cheeks darken several shades.]
Um, that is - if you're cool with it. We - we could totally try it sometime, if you want.
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He chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. ]
Y-yeah. I'm cool with it. Still...kinda nervous about it, but I don't want it to be A Thing forever, y'know? [One of his hands moves to grip Fern's. Firm, confident in this at least:] I trust you with that. I... know I'm safe with you.
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He smiles gently, gripping Varian's hand in return, his free hand settling on his boyfriend's cheek.]
Your trust is the most important thing to me. I love you, and I'm gonna do my best to not screw it all up.
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