[He disagrees wholeheartedly, though Fern knows better to argue with Varian on this topic. It's a self-loathing thing, and they don't argue about those kinds of matters. Instead he just snorts.]
And let you stay up the rest of the night? C'mon. Either we both sleep or neither of us sleep.
[They both act as each other's self-worth. It's a trick they've been doing for a long time now, might as well continue. At that comment, Varian leans his head back on the pillows, groaning audibly.]
Fern, that's not fair. You can sleep, there's a big difference here.
[It's rude, it's so rude. But he sighs, sinking a little lower so he's lying on the bed, pulling Fern with him. It's fine, he can still cuddle against him- maybe it'll lull him into sleep, who knows.]
[Yeah, it's unfair, and he really would like to go back to sleep. Buuut he knows if he does Varian will just stay up all night, alone, and that's way worse than being tired in the morning.
He sniffs, settling down with the other boy, curling up with him.]
Okay. What if we talked about something you think's really boring? That always puts me to sleep.
[That's terrible logic, and Varian wouldn't like it at all. He hums softly at Fern's question, his hand moving to the other boy's hair, fingers threading through it idly. ]
There's not a lot I find boring. [Even magic has some interesting values, after all. Something he can study. ] ...What's so boring that it puts you to sleep?
[Oh, the petting is nice. Fern could just laze here and have Varian running his fingers through his hair all night.
He is, however, thrown off by that question.]
Uh -
[Well, science is the first thing that comes to him, but he knows better than to say that one out loud. Besides, there's occasionally fun science - mostly when Varian is involved.
So he stops, thinking for several long moments, then decides to go with:]
[Maybe Varian's trying to trick him into falling asleep. Maybe he's doing just that.
Science would have been a foolish, foolish answer and probably would have ended in A Lecture. He doesn't look super thrilled with math being the answer, scoffing lightly.]
You just can't accept how cool and exciting math can be. Have you ever calculated a factorial? It's the best time. You note them with an exclamation mark- you can't get more exciting than an exclamation mark. And you use them to find out all the probabilities, permutations and combinations for numbers. Like, did you know the n! for 12 is 479001600.
[He is definitely trying to trick Fern into falling asleep. He's just going to keep talking about factorials, keeping his voice in a low, steady cadence. ]
[Fern doesn't really suspect a thing. Varian asked a question, and he's trying to give an answer that isn't going to cause another argument that results in a year of 'I told you so's.
He's doomed. His eyes are already starting to glaze over.]
[Varian smiles faintly, he can see it's working. Good. He carries on, not explaining anything, because that's... rather the point.]
And then you look at zero which is really neat, because you can't really multiply zero by anything, so you make it one. Even if one is also one. So essentially you have two ones. You can use factorials to work out all sorts of things, too. Like you can use it to work out how many seconds are in a week, so like sixty times sixty times twenty-four times seven times six, and then you have to factor in some other numbers...
[He's just continuing with a long stream of numbers and calculations, all the while not letting his voice raise above the quiet, calm tone he has going on, despite the fact this is actually a pretty exciting subject for him. Sorry, Fern, he's doing this because he loves you. ]
[Oh no, no no no this is the opposite of what he wants. He frowns a little at the continued math, but Glob it's soooo boring. He's doomed, he stands no chance against the onslaught of incredibly boring math talk.
It doesn't take long at all before he conks out, falling back asleep. You win this round, Varian!!]
[Victory is his!!!! Varian looks pretty pleased with this.
Of course, with Fern sleeping cuddled onto him, he can't actually go anywhere - so at least this means he stays in bed and dozes. It's not actual rest, his brain still won't shut off enough for that, but he can't anxiously stalk around the house either. Maybe they're both winners.
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I love you too, and you won't screw it up. You'll do great, I'm sure of it.
[He squeezes Fern's hand gently.]
You should get back to sleep, I've already woken you up once. You don't have to stay awake on my account.
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And let you stay up the rest of the night? C'mon. Either we both sleep or neither of us sleep.
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Fern, that's not fair. You can sleep, there's a big difference here.
[It's rude, it's so rude. But he sighs, sinking a little lower so he's lying on the bed, pulling Fern with him. It's fine, he can still cuddle against him- maybe it'll lull him into sleep, who knows.]
Okay. How about I promise I'll try? Again.
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He sniffs, settling down with the other boy, curling up with him.]
Okay. What if we talked about something you think's really boring? That always puts me to sleep.
[Maybe it'll help!]
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There's not a lot I find boring. [Even magic has some interesting values, after all. Something he can study. ] ...What's so boring that it puts you to sleep?
[Don't answer that, Fern, it's a trap.]
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He is, however, thrown off by that question.]
Uh -
[Well, science is the first thing that comes to him, but he knows better than to say that one out loud. Besides, there's occasionally fun science - mostly when Varian is involved.
So he stops, thinking for several long moments, then decides to go with:]
Math.
[That seems safe!!]
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Science would have been a foolish, foolish answer and probably would have ended in A Lecture. He doesn't look super thrilled with math being the answer, scoffing lightly.]
You just can't accept how cool and exciting math can be. Have you ever calculated a factorial? It's the best time. You note them with an exclamation mark- you can't get more exciting than an exclamation mark. And you use them to find out all the probabilities, permutations and combinations for numbers. Like, did you know the n! for 12 is 479001600.
[He is definitely trying to trick Fern into falling asleep. He's just going to keep talking about factorials, keeping his voice in a low, steady cadence. ]
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He's doomed. His eyes are already starting to glaze over.]
V, I understood like half of what you just said.
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And then you look at zero which is really neat, because you can't really multiply zero by anything, so you make it one. Even if one is also one. So essentially you have two ones. You can use factorials to work out all sorts of things, too. Like you can use it to work out how many seconds are in a week, so like sixty times sixty times twenty-four times seven times six, and then you have to factor in some other numbers...
[He's just continuing with a long stream of numbers and calculations, all the while not letting his voice raise above the quiet, calm tone he has going on, despite the fact this is actually a pretty exciting subject for him. Sorry, Fern, he's doing this because he loves you. ]
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It doesn't take long at all before he conks out, falling back asleep. You win this round, Varian!!]
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Of course, with Fern sleeping cuddled onto him, he can't actually go anywhere - so at least this means he stays in bed and dozes. It's not actual rest, his brain still won't shut off enough for that, but he can't anxiously stalk around the house either. Maybe they're both winners.
(But he's totally seeing this as a win for him.)]