laminae | Kaisou Inbox

[Not too long after the portal mess, Fern will find a crumpled piece of paper outside Varian's door. The other boy tends to be messy and scatterbrained with his work notes, so it would be easy to assume this is a dropped piece of research. However, when Fern picks it up, it's clearly not that.

Instead, Fern will find a much-scribbled upon letter that's...addressed to him. How it ended up here is hard to guess- it definitely doesn't seem like it was meant to be here- instead, something that was accidentally dropped and missed. It's notably dated BEFORE the portal went wrong, clearly, it's been held onto for a while before it found itself here. ]

~~Fern~~ ~~Dear Fern~~ ~~Hey Fern~~

Fern,

August told me that writing this down might help me. I'm not convinced it will but at this point, I'm willing to try anything.

~~So I think~~
Did you know boys can like other boys? I mean LIKE like them. In a romantic way. You probably do. But I didn't because of the whole being from this world's past thing and everything. You don't really talk about stuff like that back home. But it is a thing here and August explained a lot to me and I've been doing my own research and it's really helped me realise a lot about myself.

~~Is this important? I think this is stalling. You don't need to know all of this~~.

Anyway, I ~~think you're pretty neat~~ just really ~~can't stop thinking about you~~ feel weird around you. A good weird. You make my brain fill with oxytocin.

You don't know what oxytocin is probably. ~~It's this hormone that~~ it doesn't matter. Well, it does matter because it's science and science always matters but for the purposes of this letter it doesn't really matter. Completely. What I mean is that I like you. I REALLY like you. In a romantical way and not just a friend way. I like you in a friend way too, you're still the best friend I've ever had but I also like you more than that. In the aforementioned romantical way.

~~God, there's got to be a better way to say that, that's so dumb.~~

I'm scared to tell you because you might just laugh at me or never speak to me again or everything will be awkward around us for the rest of my time here. I know I have the portal that's nearly finished, too and I don't want you to feel forced to choose to come with me. Or avoid me and not come with me because you don't want to go into a world with someone who feels that way about you when you don't feel that way back. The latter is probably more likely.

But it doesn't matter because I don't plan on giving you this. It's not fair and it's weird and I sound weird. But I needed to do something because ~~I don't even sleep~~ I ~~can't help but be really awkward and weird around you~~ needed to get my feelings down somewhere. Maybe it'll help? August thought it might. I already wrote that.

I don't feel less awkward right now though. ~~I don't know how I feel~~. I don't feel good. I should say this in person but I ~~can't see why you'd like~~ can't see how that would help either. Maybe I just need to give it some time? After writing this.

But yeah, in conclusion, I like you a lot. Don't know what to do about it. Probably just gonna scream in my own skull about it until I explode or go back to Corona. Whichever comes first.

Don't know how to finish a love letter I never plan to send. Probably should have studied that first.

- Varian

[Fern doesn't even notice the paper on the ground until he steps on it. Unsurprisingly, at first he assumes the things is just some notes of some super advanced science thing thrown out by Varian. It's only when he picks up that he notices his name, written in Varian's script, and unfolds it to read the entire thing.

Oh. Oh geez.

Fern likes Varian. They're friends - best friends, which is incredibly important to him. He never really had much in the way of friends back in Ooo, after becoming Fern he didn't exactly go out and make new friends, and the ones he had when he was Finn had abandoned him. Varian is the first friend he made as Fern rather than Finn, so his feelings are -

They're a little complicated. A lot complicated. Varian is his first, best, and most important friend, and honestly, his feelings undeniably run a lot deeper than just friendship. But he's some weird grass monstrosity, and no one - especially a human - would return those kinds of feelings towards a pile of grass, so he had very firmly shoved them into his mental vault and proceeded to do his best to ignore them.

And yet, there's this letter. He can't believe what he's reading, it has to be a mistake. Or a joke. Maybe it's just a prank? That doesn't seem like Varian's style, though. He wouldn't write something that messed with his feelings like this, which means... it's sincere?

He has to retreat back to his bedroom to sit on his bed and read it again. If it is sincere, what is he supposed to do? The thing was lying in a crumpled ball outside Varian's bedroom, it's not like it was actually delivered to him. He isn't sure if he was supposed to have read it, but the cat is out of the metaphorical bag now, and it doesn't feel right to just pretend he doesn't know.

At least this means the reason for all the awkwardness wasn't Varian getting sick? And that he's probably not a serial killer! So there's that.

He sighs, crinkling the letter in his hands before getting up and heading back over to Varian's room. This is probably going to mess everything up, but they need to talk.

Hesitating a moment, he knocks on the door. His metaphorical stomach is full of knots, and he'd love nothing more than to turn tail and run.]

Hey, you busy?

[Varian was blissfully unaware the letter had made it out of his room. He'd written it, agonised over it for a few days, then crumpled it into his wastepaper bin. He hadn't bet on Ruddiger fishing the damn thing out and leaving it outside his room for Fern to find. He hadn't bet on that at all. As far as he knows, the thing was thrown out with the rest of the trash weeks ago.

So when Fern comes into his room, he has no idea what it's about. He's been quieter, since the portal, a little more withdrawn. The guilt has rested heavily on him, and he can't help but feel like the worst failure in history. Worse than that. Just fundamentally broken. Someone who makes a mess everywhere he goes.

But Fern knows his past. He knows it and he's still here. Fern's...safe. So he does manage to force a tired smile, looking up from whatever he's working on.]

Not that busy. You okay? You look...nervous. Did- did something else happen?

[Upon seeing Varian, Fern promptly loses his nerve and crumples the paper into a ball, hiding it behind his back.]

No! Um, no, nada. Nothing happened.

[Glob, he can't just drop this on Varian after everything that happened recently. He needs to ease him into this somehow, try to break it to him gently. He rocks back on his heels, looking around awkwardly.]

You... wanna take a break and get some food or something?

[He might not be able to eat, but maybe food will help.]

Welp time to defile this inbox

fun times for both of them

the best times

no subject

UN: Zodiac; 8/14; text

UN: Zodiac; 12/1

Action!

no subject

no subject

no subject

dropped off on the night of December 24th

no subject

action: un: trienemybest

no subject

no subject

no subject

text: 14th March

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

April, before the event!

no subject

no subject