[Oh wow, this is not a message Fern expected to get. He doesn't see it until he's spoken with Varian and calmed down a little - he's still angry and upset, but not about to start smashing things anymore. He still needs to get out to Ache and get these feelings out in a healthy way though, so he responds as he walks.
Ezra seemed nice but he's right, they don't know each other very well, so he had no clue he knew Maul back home and definitely had no clue he was let down by him. But he isn't surprised, because that's just what Maul does to people.]
geez dude i'm sorry i don't know why i give that jerk the time of day, all he does is bring everyone else around him down or hurt them i've done a lot of bad stuff in my life but i'm not him and i never wanna be like him
Well, I don't know about when you met him, but when I did, he seemed lonely and sad and like he wanted to help.
And none of that was false exactly. He just didn't care who he hurt to get what he wanted, and the thing he kept fixating on was his own pain and how much he wanted revenge. For something that wouldn't have happened if he hadn't gone around murdering people in cold blood, anyway.
I mean, again, I don't know you. And I've done a lot of really bad stuff, too. But that's a pretty high bar of bad, to get to his level and stay there.
he's been like that with me, too i've known him a few years by now, both here and back in Deerington
you're not wrong about him not caring about other people if it means he gets what he wants but i think the lonely and sad thing is all fake
it is, you're right if anyone wants to be as bad as him they really gotta work at it i know that it's just really hard sometimes to not think he's right uh my self esteem isn't the best
We had a bond through the Force, not quite the blood bonds here but sort of. The only time it felt like to me through that bond that he was at peace was when he was actually dying.
Anyway, kriff him. Don't give him the satisfaction of dragging you down.
wow seriously? it takes him dying back home to not be a huge manipulative jerk?
[Fern is stunned here for a lot of reasons, but that's the one he's focusing on right now.]
that that says a lot about him
ugh but thanks man i'm really trying not to he really makes me want to stab something so i'm gonna go kill some monsters out in the farmland if i gotta stab something then i can at least do it in a way that's helpful, right?
I'll be honest at this point in my life I think I'd rather spar or train when I'm mad then actually go looking for something to stab in a fatal way.
Try not to act in anger in a way that I can't take back, you know? That's probably the Jedi training talking tho. Be mindful of your feelings and all that. Hunting's your job, right?
[And he certainly doesn't expect everyone to follow the Jedi way. But he is sort of wondering how much acting on emotions might or might not play into corruption and beasthood.]
wow really? if you ever want a fighting buddy let me know, i love it just maybe not right now, i don't wanna go overboard and hurt you or anything
um yeah i make weapons and other junk too with plants, but i still mostly hunt stuff it's fun! it helps with the anger stuff too if i'm taking those feelings out on monsters i'm not taking them out on other people
I'm pretty interested in plant stuff, too? Where I was before this, which was also a pretty strange place, I had a vegetable garden and helped out in the greenhouse. I can feed plants a bit of energy, if I'm careful.
hah, i wasn't real good at plants before becoming grass got real great at it fast after that though haven't heard of someone giving plants energy, that's new it sounds kind of cool does it make you tired though? it's your own energy right?
[Becoming...grass. Yep. He's just rolling with it.]
It's a little more accurate to say I'm the focus for the energy. It has to go through me and is partly me, but the energy is from everything because the Force is everything.
[And true to his word, Fern will head out to Airy's orchard. It doesn't take him too long to arrive and when he does, he'll greet all the trees. They're giving off some friendly vibes, so it's helping him relax after that network message from Maul.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Text; un: lothrat
Hey, this is Ezra. I know don't know you very well yet. But I do know Maul, from back home. A future version, anyway.
I know what it's like to feel horribly let down by him. So if you want to talk, I'm here.
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Ezra seemed nice but he's right, they don't know each other very well, so he had no clue he knew Maul back home and definitely had no clue he was let down by him. But he isn't surprised, because that's just what Maul does to people.]
geez dude i'm sorry
i don't know why i give that jerk the time of day, all he does is bring everyone else around him down or hurt them
i've done a lot of bad stuff in my life but i'm not him and i never wanna be like him
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And none of that was false exactly. He just didn't care who he hurt to get what he wanted, and the thing he kept fixating on was his own pain and how much he wanted revenge. For something that wouldn't have happened if he hadn't gone around murdering people in cold blood, anyway.
I mean, again, I don't know you. And I've done a lot of really bad stuff, too. But that's a pretty high bar of bad, to get to his level and stay there.
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i've known him a few years by now, both here and back in Deerington
you're not wrong about him not caring about other people if it means he gets what he wants
but i think the lonely and sad thing is all fake
it is, you're right
if anyone wants to be as bad as him they really gotta work at it
i know that it's just
really hard sometimes
to not think he's right
uh
my self esteem isn't the best
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We had a bond through the Force, not quite the blood bonds here but sort of. The only time it felt like to me through that bond that he was at peace was when he was actually dying.
Anyway, kriff him. Don't give him the satisfaction of dragging you down.
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[Fern is stunned here for a lot of reasons, but that's the one he's focusing on right now.]
that
that says a lot about him
ugh but thanks man
i'm really trying not to
he really makes me want to stab something so i'm gonna go kill some monsters out in the farmland
if i gotta stab something then i can at least do it in a way that's helpful, right?
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Try not to act in anger in a way that I can't take back, you know? That's probably the Jedi training talking tho. Be mindful of your feelings and all that. Hunting's your job, right?
[And he certainly doesn't expect everyone to follow the Jedi way. But he is sort of wondering how much acting on emotions might or might not play into corruption and beasthood.]
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just maybe not right now, i don't wanna go overboard and hurt you or anything
um yeah
i make weapons and other junk too with plants, but i still mostly hunt stuff
it's fun! it helps with the anger stuff too
if i'm taking those feelings out on monsters i'm not taking them out on other people
[Which he... did back home, sometimes.]
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I'm pretty interested in plant stuff, too? Where I was before this, which was also a pretty strange place, I had a vegetable garden and helped out in the greenhouse. I can feed plants a bit of energy, if I'm careful.
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hah, i wasn't real good at plants before becoming grass
got real great at it fast after that though
haven't heard of someone giving plants energy, that's new
it sounds kind of cool
does it make you tired though? it's your own energy right?
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It's a little more accurate to say I'm the focus for the energy. It has to go through me and is partly me, but the energy is from everything because the Force is everything.
At least that's my understanding.
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wow
um i don't know if this would be too personal or anything
but it would be really cool to see that sometime
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If you know a garden that could use some help or something like that, that would be perfect. My abilities should be used to serve.
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or if you want something smaller Ariadne has a grove of trees that are super nice
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i can ask her if she'll be ok with it
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That sounds like a plan.
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[And a few minutes later, that message is followed up with:]
she's cool with it
if you got nothing going on right now i can meet you there
it'll be a nice distraction from Maul being a huge wad
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[And true to his word, Fern will head out to Airy's orchard. It doesn't take him too long to arrive and when he does, he'll greet all the trees. They're giving off some friendly vibes, so it's helping him relax after that network message from Maul.]